Archives for August 2007

Patti Novak – Confessions of a Matchmaker #10

Thanks to Patti Novak, matchmaking is a big business in Buffalo, New York. In Episode 10 of Confessions of a Matchmaker, Novak takes on Jamie (who has nearly 10 pets) and Grant (who is conservative and works for the Republican Party). Here are some dating tips that can be gained from this episode:

Episode 10 (Jamie and Grant) – Dating Tips:

– If you have an obsession (like lots of animals in your house), don’t talk about them on your first date.

– If you’re very conservative, learn to loosen up a bit and don’t dress too conservatively on your date.

– Be willing to try new things.

– Keep an open mind about the person you are dating.

Joe’s Comments
Patti Novak’s name for this episode could have been “mis-matcher”. First she matches a woman who loves animals (and has quite a few) with a guy who hunts animals. Then she matches a guy, Grant, who works for the Republican Party and isn’t adventurous, with a girl who is very liberal (her family too) and who wants to date a guy who is very adventurous with a wild side.

Ironically, both dates worked out. There’s a lesson here and that is “keep an open mind”. Just because a person doesn’t have the same belief system as you doesn’t mean that it can’t work out.

Favorite line from this episode:
Patti Novak had told Jamie not to talk about her animals (which includes three cats). But her date, Tony, started asking her about pets. Novak’s voiceover is heard – “Tony had opened Pandora’s Litterbox”.

Second favorite line from this episode:
When Grant’s date finds out he’s conservative, she asks, “so you watch a lot of Fox News?”

Third favorite line from this episode:
Grant’s date asks him how adventurous he is and he responds, “I’ve been known to dance quite a bit a certain friends weddings after a few drinks”

New Dating Humor Jokes and Videos

Online Dating Magazine has added several new funny dating videos and dating jokes to its Dating Humor section. Here are some direct links:

Joke: Car for Sale

Video: Typical Day at Match.com

Video: Online Dating Ad

Video: How to Get Over Him

Video: Internet Dating Tips #4

Enjoy!

Don’t Date Him Girl Slammed as Hate Site

The O’Reilly Factor on Wednesday labeled reputation management service Don’t Date Him Girl as a hate site. Don’t Date Him Girl allows women to post names, pictures, and personal information of men they’ve dated along with narrative on how bad that person is. Many women are allowed to sign their posts anonymously while making unproven accusations against men they name. The controversial service has been around a few years and has faced at least one lawsuit from a man posted to the service.

To open the segment, O’Reilly said:

“As we’ve been telling you, there and hundreds – maybe thousands – of hate Websites available for your perusal. One of them is called Don’t Date Him Girl…”

For the segment, host Bill O’Reilly interviewed Mary Katharine Ham, editor of TownHall.com. Ham said the following in the show:

“This is a really pretty nasty Website where women who are upset with their ex’s, as women often are, go on and say pretty nasty things about them – allegations which largely cannot be proven, but are out there in print and these guys have to suffer from the fact that they are out there…”

In the same segment, two more sites were called out, including one called Fire in the Hole where teens film things like going to drive-thru, ordering a drink, then throwing the drink at the employee and speeding off. In addition, another site was chastised for allowing men and women to “create an alibi” so that they can get assistance lying about a business trip, etc. in order to have an affair without getting caught.

In regards to Don’t Date Him Girl, both Online Dating Magazine and the Online Dating Industry Journal have written about this site. You can read the following articles:

Don’t Date Him Girl Flaws

Don’t Date Him Girl Lawsuit Dismissed

Joe’s Comments
I understand what Don’t Date Him Girl is trying to do, but they don’t hold the accusers accountable and let them say whatever they want (this guy has AIDS, herpes, etc.) without providing any proof. The site then publishes that info with the guy’s real name, city, picture, etc.. So if one of these men applies for a job and the place of employment does a Google search, it’s possible for them to easily find the information posted to Don’t Date Him Girl.

Whether the service targets men or whether it targets women, it is just wrong, in my opinion. I’ve received several emails from men who have been wronged by them and want to know what they can do about it. The short answer is “nothing”. The service protects the “anonymous” posters and does nothing to verify any information published.

Is it OK to break up via email?

17% of Americans think it is OK to break up via email, according to a poll conducted for the TV game show, Power of 10, which premiered tonight on CBS.

A male and female contestant were competing against each other to see which could come closest and win the round as a result. The Power of 10 host, Drew Carey, posed the question:

“What percentage of American’s think it’s acceptable to break up with someone via email?”

The male contestant answered 11% and the female contestant answered 19%. The answer was 17%, giving the victory for the round to the female who was only 2 percentage points off.

Joe’s Comments
This is a great question to research because time and time again, I hear from people who had someone break up with them via email or even a text message via cell phone! This is unacceptable behaviour. Always break up face to face. And be sure to read our recent post on breaking up.

Prescription for Love Gets Washington Post Publicity

Two weeks ago we wrote an article on a fairly new online dating service called Prescription4Love. The service is aimed at people with unique conditions that find it hard to date because of the condition.Yesterday, the Washington Post wrote a story on Prescription4Love and how the service was influenced by the owner’s late brother, James Keith Durham.

From the article:

Launched in 2006, Prescription4Love was created by Ricky Durham in memory of his brother, James Keith Durham, who died in 2004 after a 15-year battle with Crohn’s disease.

“He couldn’t meet people,” remembers Durham. “He had a colostomy bag, so he didn’t feel comfortable meeting people.”

You can read the entire article here.

Dating Tips – Confessions of a Matchmaker #9

In Episode 9 of Confessions of a Matchmaker, Patti Novak takes on Jack (a 38-year old Fratboy) and Andrea (a 53-year old that feels old). Here are some dating tips that can be gained from this episode:

Episode 9 (Jack and Andrea) – Dating Tips:

– Having a “crazy” look could make it hard for you to find a date. A lot of times people will use their look to cover up insecurities. Get beyond this – take care of your look and create that nicer and younger person that is deep inside.

– Don’t take your date to a place your friends will be hanging out at.

– Changing the way you look on the outside (new hip style of hair and clothes) will give you a confidence boost on the inside.

– Don’t turn your attention away from your date to someone else for a prolonged time. It is very rude and discourteous.

– Never make derogatory remarks about yourself on a date (“I’ve recently gained some weight”).

Joe’s Comments
Guys, if you are at the place you’re meeting before your date and happen to be sitting down, stand up when she arrives for a proper greeting. In this episode, Jack is sitting at a table and his date walks in. He greets her without standing up. This is not respectful behaviour. It’s appropriate to stand up, greet your date, then sit after she has sat down. At all times you should be showing respect for the person you are on a date with.

Also, learn to read body language. In several episodes I have seen a guy droning on about himself and the women look completely bored. They could get up and leave and the guy wouldn’t even notice!

It’s important to train yourself to be fully aware of your date’s presence. And remember, the less you talk about yourself, the more your date will enjoy herself. Learn to make the date more about her and less about you.

I was not in the least bit impressed with Jack in this episode. He talked about himself, rarely asked questions, and left his date sitting alone while he hooped it up with his buddies (who just so “happened” to be at the same place he was). People with this type of attitude may have short-term success with like-minded people, but will never find satisfying long-term relationships.

Dating Tips – Confessions of a Matchmaker #8

Confessions of a Matchmaker with Patti Novak is a weekly TV series on A&E that follows Novak as she matches people and gives them dating tips to improve their experience. Here are some dating tips learned from Episode 8 – Mary and Mick:

Episode 8 (Mary & Mick) – Dating Tips:

– Learn how to act on a date. If you are rough around the edges then consciously work on softening those edges for your date.

– Don’t be negative. Leave your negativity at home. If you don’t have something nice to say during the date then just ask questions.

– Being a tough girl with an attitude scares guys away. Learn some manners and work to become more balanced… if you want to find love, that is.

– When you’re overly passionate about something (i.e. Mick and his music), you should probably not bring up the subject at all on your first date because it could become easy to get carried away and quickly bore your date (you won’t know he/she is bored because you’ll be too busy talking about your passion). Instead, invest in learning about your date.

– Dress appropriately for the place you will be having your first date. If it is a nice restaurant, jeans and a t-shirt are not appropriate.

– Be open-minded to ways of doing things (for example, if you have never gone to an art museum, go to one). Increase your horizons.

– Don’t talk down to your date (in answering a question his date asked him, Mick said “the money’s just not there, kid.”)

– Never insult the intelligence of your date. Treat them with respect and interest.

Joe’s Comments
Mary was really rough around the edges. She goes out with a guy who likes art and makes derogatory comments about art. To her credit, she tried to learn some manners, but still scared away the two guys she went out on dates with because of her very direct, rough, and opinionated attitude. The lesson here is not to change your personality, but yet bring balance to your life through the learning of opposing forces. For example, if you’re always loud, opinionated, and negative then take a course in meditation. Learn to balance out the negatives with positives and it will make you a much more appealing person to date.

Time and time again, I hear people talk about how they went on a date with a hot guy or girl and when that person opened their mouth, they quickly became the most unattractive person in the world. There’s a lesson to be learned here. Attraction goes much deeper than looks. An average looking person can become very attractive to their date through manners, respect, being fun, and learning to listen.

Another tip I’d like to add from watching this episode: don’t sabotage your dates. There are some people who are afraid of success or afraid of finding love, so they tend to “sabotage” their dates or relationships. Don’t do this. You deserve love and you deserve happiness. Do everything possible to make both successful.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

One of the hardest things to do in life is breaking up with someone, particularly someone who thinks the relationship is going great. In life, each of us are on a quest for that soulmate that compliments us in ways that no other can. Yet in that search, we sometimes hit stumbling blocks and discover that the person we are dating is not the right one. Then comes the hard part – how to break up without inflicting too much pain.

Today, Online Dating Magazine columnist Nicole Roberge addressing the issue of breaking it up in her column titled, Calling it Quits.

In addition to that column, here are some other links to articles that will assist you if you think it is time to end your relationship by breaking up…

10 Ways to Break up Graciously

Breaking it Off Respectfully

How do I Break Up for Good?

And if you’ve recently been on the receiving end of a break up, here are some articles that have good advice and tips on dealing with it:

Why He Dumped You and 12 Ways to Get Back on Track

Breaking Up and Resentment

Dealing with a Breakup and Relationship Closure

Joe’s Comments
Technological advances in society, like the Internet and cell phones, have unfortunately made it “easier” to break up with someone. With the ease of online dating, I’m also seeing a growing trend of people not working through relationship problems, but rather quickly breaking up and returning to online dating.

Match.com Adds Features for Mobile Phone Users

Online dating service Match.com has launched MatchMobile, a way for members to surf Match.com with their cell phone and be alerted by text message when someone emails them or winks at them. MatchMobile also allows users to respond to emails and winks they receive.

“Imagine what MatchMobile will do for the business traveler who’s constantly on the go, waiting for a flight home,” said Dr. Ian Kerner, a Match.com relationship expert. “They’re thinking of the long, lonely weekend ahead, and suddenly they receive a wink or an email — it could brighten their day and change their Saturday night plans.”

Paying subscribers to Match.com can receive wink and email alerts on their phone at no additional cost. To have the power to read and respond to emails, members will have to pay an additional $4.95 a month.

Joe’s Comments
It never hurts to expand your service to keep up with technology. With that said, however, this is simply another addition to Match.com’s “add on” services that end up costing you a lot more than the normal monthly service.

Dating Tips – Confessions of a Matchmaker #7

Every week on A&E, Patti Novak dispenses dating advice to singles through her reality series Confessions of a Matchmaker. Below are dating tips that can be learned from Episode 7, Janet and Derek.

Episode 7 (Janet & Derek) – Dating Tips:

– Learn to be Self-Confident. You have to assert yourself.

– Don’t create a “wall of excuses” that keeps you from dating and dating success.

– It’s important to mentally be ready for love before you begin searching for love.

– If you don’t feel sexy or good looking, then get a makeover! Build your confidence before your date.

– To be good at dating, you sometimes have to take risks that put you outside of your comfort zone (like being self-confident).

– In order to let others in, you must first let your guard down.

Joe’s Comments
One of the biggest inhibitors to successful dating is having a lack of confidence. If you are a person who lacks confidence, it’s important to first build that back up. I’d recommend the following books:

The Confidence Plan: How to Build a Stronger You

Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway

The Ultimate Secrets of Total Self-Confidence