Archives for November 2008

Becoming a Better Listener in a Relationship

(Online Dating News Blog – The Answer Box)

Question: Do you have any tips on becoming a better listener in a relationship?
There is an adage that rings very true here – practice makes perfect. Think of becoming a better listener as a challenge. Your goal is to master that challenge. Here are three excellent starting points:

1. Ask followup questions to what the person is saying. If you have a rule of asking a followup question then you’ll have to listen more closely in order to know what you’re going to ask.

2. Stay away from a lot of alcohol and sugary drinks (i.e. sodas) that can inhibit your ability to listen.

3. Look at the person when they are talking. If you look a person in the face (you can even focus on something like the eyes or nose) then your attention is on them. When your attention is on the person, then you tend to hear what they are saying.

Here are a couple of good articles to read on the subject:

> The Art of Listening

> Active Listening

The Answer Box
If you have a dating question you’d like to see answered here, send it to The Answer Box –  answerbox@onlinedatingnewsblog.com.

Dating Advice From Friends (Satellite Sisters Sheila Dolan)

(Online Dating News Blog) In this episode of Summer of Love, Satellite Sister Sheila Dolan says a good source of dating advice is “friends”. So she wanders the streets looking for some that can give her dating advice…

Return to Summer of Love with Sheila Dolan Special Section

Why Don’t Girls Respond on Chemistry.com?

(Online Dating News Blog – The Answer Box)

Question: Why don’t girls respond on Chemistry.com when I email them?
There are two fundamental flaws of most online dating services that contribute to this problem. Those flaws are:

1. If you are a member and you send an email to someone, they need to be a member too in order to read the email and respond.

2. Many online dating services don’t clean their databases often, so someone who may not have used the service in years is still listed as available.

Because you don’t know, in most cases, who is a member ro not and whether a person is still active, you could be sending some emails to never-never land and that could account for a good portion of unanswered emails.

Online Dating Magazine research shows that, in general it takes a man 20 emails to various ladies in order to get one response. This 20 to 1 ratio is an average of all dating services, not just Chemistry.com which you mentioned in your question.

Online Dating Magazine also states, however, that it is possible to improve your ratio by following several tips:

1) Personalize your first communication. Carefully read the other person’s profile and when you send your email ask some questions based on their areas of interest.

2) Don’t talk about yourself in your first communication. Keep it about the other person.

3) If services allow you to see when a person last logged on then check that before sending an email. If it has been months or years since the person last logged on then your email isn’t going to change that.  Sending emails to people no longer on services is like putting your email straight into a shredder.

Other studies show that posting a good picture improves your response rate. This doesn’t mean that you scan a photo of a model from a magazine and post it as your own. That type of deceipt will come back to bite you. It means that you post a recent and decent photo of yourself.  Always be honest with your photo and in your profile because when a person meets you, they’ll know immediately if you were lying (or fibbing) and that will affect the quality of your date.

The Answer Box
If you have an online dating question you’d like to see answered here, send it to The Answer Box –  answerbox@onlinedatingnewsblog.com.

Santa Claus and Online Dating – Searching for Love

(Online Dating News Blog)  What would happen if Santa Claus — ok… maybe not the real one — was set up to use online dating as a way of getting his mojo… er… hoho back? This is the first video in a five part series, titled “Searching for Love”, that explores the challenges in finding love for the jolly depressed master of Christmas…

Is a Post It Note an Acceptable Way to Break Up?

(Online Dating News Blog – The Answer Box)

Question: Is a Post It Note an Acceptable Way of Breaking Up?
Absolutely not. We’re a bit curious as to if you’re asking this because you’re going to break up with someone or because someone broke up with you via a post-it note. Either way, the answer remains the same… breaking up via a post-it note is cowardly and does nothing to improve the character of the person doing it.

Breaking up is a difficult process. Many people want to avoid the “conflict” or “drama” that goes with it. Thus many times the person breaking up might look for the least direct way to do it (text message, email, etc.). Avoiding direct contact does a couple of things:

1) Teaches you to take the “easy road out”.

2) Lessens the value you place on others.

The right way to break up is in person or, if necessary , on the phone. It’s important to break up this way because you need to allow the person you’re breaking up with to get some type of closure. A post-it note, text message, or email doesn’t allow for closure or the ability to “vent”.  Also, breaking up this way allows the person doing the break up to grow because of the value they place on the other person, even when saying goodbye.

Here is a good breakup article you should read:

> Dealing with a Break Up

Remember, how you treat another person in a break up defines the type of person you are.

The Answer Box
If you have an online dating question you’d like to see answered here, send it to The Answer Box –  answerbox@onlinedatingnewsblog.com.

Chemistry.com Publicly Attacks eHarmony

(Online Dating News Blog) Chemistry.com yesterday issued a press release attacking eHarmony over its past stance on same-sex matches. Chemistry.com also warned gays and lesbians that eHarmony’s upcoming same-sex matching service, which arose from a settlement agreement with the State of New Jersey, sends gays and lesbians to another site, still refusing access to eHarmony’s core service.

Click here to read the full news story.

And who can ever forget Chemistry.com’s infamous “Still Gay?” ad (directly below) from several years ago?

What to Wear (Satellite Sister Sheila Dolan’s Summer of Love)

(Online Dating News Blog) In episode 6 of Sheila Dolan’s Summer of Love series, the middle of the five Satellite Sisters discusses what to wear on a first date.

Return to Summer of Love with Sheila Dolan Special Section

What are Good Manners for a First Date?

(Online Dating News Blog – The Answer Box)

Question: What are good manners for a first date?

1. Shower, brush your teeth, and look/smell good.

2. Arrive early to your destination so that you are not late.

3. If you’re a man, open the door for the lady when the opportunity arises.

4. If you’re a man, offer to pay for the date. If the lady prefers to go dutch, don’t argue.

5. Don’t cross your arms – it signals boredom.

6. Look your date in the eyes when talking and listening.

7. Study your date’s profile and emails (if you met online) in advance so that you can cover topics of interest to him/her during your conversation.

8. Don’t drink alcohol on the first date.

9. Compliment your date, but no more than 2-3 times the entire date.

10. Turn off your cell phone for the duration of the date.

11. Ladies – if you enjoyed the date, let the man know it before you part ways.

12. Men – if you enjoyed the date, ask the lady on a second date. Don’t play the game of “waiting 2-3 days” before calling).

The Answer Box
The Answer Box provides concise and informative answers to your dating questions. If you have a question, submit it to answerbox@onlinedatingnewsblog.com. Then look for the answer right here!

Rapid Dating (by Bud Light)

(Online Dating News Blog) Here’s a funny commercial by Bud Light that uses the context of a speed dating (or as they call it “rapid dating”) event…

What is the Number of Dating Services Online?

(Online Dating News Blog – The Answer Box)

Question: What is the number of dating services online?
Online Dating Magazine estimates that there are more than 2,500 online dating services on the Internet with 2-3 new services opening every single day. Out of all these service, Online Dating Magazine estimates that more than 90% will fail or never turn a profit.

The Answer Box
The Answer Box provides concise answers to your questions. Best of all, most questions are answered within four hours. If you have a question, submit it to answerbox@onlinedatingnewsblog.com. Then look for the answer right here!