Dating Tips – Confessions of a Matchmaker #6

Confessions of a Matchmaker is a matchmaking and advice show airing weekly on A&E. It’s a show that offers dating tips and dating advice to singles through the eyes of matchmaker Patti Novak. Below are dating tips that can be learned from Episode 6, Lynn and Matthew.

Episode 6 (Lynn & Matthew) – Dating Tips:

– Don’t lie about your age.

– Don’t come on too strong on your first date. It will scare your date away.

– Don’t treat your date like he/she is at a job interview.

– Be genuinely interested in learning about your date.

– On a first date, don’t tell someone you live with your mom and dad!

– Don’t limit yourself by creating a list of standards for dating (i.e. person must have black hair, blue eyes, and be at least 6′ tall).

Joe’s Comments
I was really disappointed with Patti in this episode. The reason why is because Matthew is a minister and Patti tried matching him with someone who wasn’t very religious. In his interview, he clearly told Patti that he was a minister and his beliefs take precedence over everything else.

In matchmaking there are some boundaries that need to be followed. If a person doesn’t believe in God and is a die-hard atheist, you don’t try to match them with someone who puts God first in their life and vice-versa. To make the minister go out on a date with a woman who is not very religious probably brought some amount of embarrassment to this minister from his congregation. Obviously, if a person is a minister then his/her foundation is built around religion and God. Patti ignored this fact.

If a person is a vegetarian and makes it clear that he/she does not want to be matched with someone who eats meat, then you don’t match that person up with a meat eater! This is why online dating services provide various ways of you to determine matches – so that your core beliefs aren’t compromised in the search for love.

What was interesting about this episode is that what you think you want may not be what’s right for you. In this episode, Lynn wanted a man with blue eyes, at least 6’2, and 23 years old (even though she was 30+). The date didn’t go well. When Patti matched her up with a guy who had brown eyes, was 5’8 and 42 years old, the two hit it off. The point is that if you’re not having success then change things up by eliminated your “must be” list and trying out new adventures.

Dating Tips – Confessions of a Matchmaker #5

Confessions of a Matchmaker is a weekly half-hour show that airs on A&E. It follows matchmaker Patti Novak as she tries to match couples in Buffalo, New York. Below you will find some dating tips that can be learned from Episode 5, Paul & Amy.

Episode 5 (Paul & Amy) – Dating Tips:

– Avoid being “motherly” or “fatherly”. Your date is looking for a potential boyfriend or girlfriend. They already have a mom and dad.

– If you once felt sexy and confident, but don’t anymore, then do everything you can to get it back (i.e. change your look, lose weight, change your attitude, etc.). If you feel good about yourself, it will show. So change your lifestyle so that you once again feel good about yourself.

– Being egotistical, cocky, or talking about yourself too much on a date is a huge turnoff.

– LISTEN on your date (and that doesn’t mean listening to yourself speak).

– Learn table manners before you go on a date.

– If you live with your parents, don’t talk about it on your date!

– Never talk about your ex on a first date.

– “You’ve got to love yourself to be loved.”

– Be humble.

– If you feel your date is asking all the questions, learn to switch the focus back to them, by asking them questions about things that interest them.

Joe’s Comments
Living with your parents when you are old enough to marry is a major turnoff to potential dates. It’s probably information you shouldn’t volunteer – particularly on a first date! It instantly puts up red flags (what’s wrong with him/her that he/she still lives with mommy and daddy?).

I’ve noticed that in several episodes, people make the mistake of talking about past relationships while on a date. Some volunteer, but others are asked. This is a topic to avoid at all costs. If you are asked about your ex, simply say “that’s a topic for another time” or “let’s instead talk about…” (change the subject – preferably to something you know your date is interested in). You can also take the direct and honest approach: “I never talk about past relationships on a first date”.

Dating Tips – Confessions of a Matchmaker #4

Here are some dating tips, offered by matchmaker Patti Novak, from the fourth episode of Confessions of a Matchmaker:

Episode 4 (Mary) – Dating Tips:

– Don’t keep a list of “requirements” for the type of person you want to date.

– Consider a haircut (or look) to make you look younger. Stay away from things that make you look older.

– Sexual innuendos or bantering can make your date feel uncomfortable.

– When on a date, flirting with the waiter/waitress or someone else (except your date) is highly inappropriate.

– You should hold a conversation on your date, not a “job interview”.

Joe’s Comments
Not as many tips in this episode as half of it was dedicated to a speed dating event that Novak’s business was putting on. The irony of people who are picky (and making lists) is that they may miss out on their true soul-mate because of a list. Matters of the heart can be predetermined with a “list” and lists only serve to create a more shallow dating (and romantic) experience.

For those that didn’t see this episode, Mary had a list of 42 things that a guy must meet in order to be a potential boyfriend. Novak had to get her to burn her list and put “requirements” out of her mind in order to make her matchable material.

Dating Tips – Confessions of a Matchmaker #3

Confessions of a Matchmaker is a show on A&E that follows matchmaker Patti Novak as she matches couples in Buffalo, New York. Here are some dating tips she offers in the third episode.

Episode 3 (Kevin and Brenda) – Dating Tips:

– Showing a lot of nervousness, saying “um” a lot, fidgeting, and displaying insecurity could make your date think you are socially awkward. Be confident!

– If you think you might forget the person’s name on the first date, then say his/her name 10 times in a row before arriving.

– Continuing to do things, as you get older, that you did when you were younger (like partying) could keep you from finding a long-term relationship and attract the wrong people (who are looking for something different – like just a fling) into your life.

– If you want commitment, remember that “party guys” don’t commit.

– Talk clear on your first date. Don’t mumble.

– Ask a lot of questions (particularly if you’re a guy).

– Don’t assume control on the first date (like ordering a drink for both of you without asking what the other person wants first). (This tip wasn’t from Novak, but rather from a girl who was matched with Kevin. He ordered them both white wine. She just wanted a beer and it bothered her a bit).

Joe’s Comments
Patti starts this episode by saying, “one of the biggest obstacles in finding love is learning how to date.” The simple fact is that online dating is only one part of the equation to finding true love. The other is what happens when you meet. It’s the in person meeting that brings out your true colors.

Once I met a nice woman from Santa Maria, CA and our first  date was to the Japanese Gardens in Santa Barbara (I like first dates that don’t involve “meeting at a coffee place”). We had a great time. However, during one of our talks, she said it was the first date she had been on in eight years! That’s probably information I didn’t need to know, because until that point I had no clue. And when a person volunteers that type of information on a first date, another might wonder “what’s wrong that this person hasn’t been on a date in so long?”  In this case, it wasn’t a big deal to me, but to someone else, it might have been.

I once went on a date with a woman who was a casting agent for a network TV show and learned first hand that there were things I shouldn’t mention on a first date. We went miniature golfing in Sherman Oaks (saw Gary Busey there – the actor that looks like Nick Nolte) and then to dinner. At dinner she asked me about my job. I told her that I was the publisher of Online Dating Magazine and to her that threw up some red flags. She asked me if I was just on the date as “part of my job.” I assured her I wasn’t, but there’s no doubt in my mind that it still bothered her.

The point is that some things are best left unsaid until later in your dating experience with the same person. Sometimes what you say may seem harmless to you on a first date, but the person you are with may misinterpret it. Learn from these mistakes in order to have a better dating experience going forward.

Dating Tips – Confessions of a Matchmaker #2

Here are some dating tips from the second episode of Confessions of a Matchmaker with Patti Novak. You can catch the show on A&E:

Episode 2 (John) – Dating Tips:

– On the first date, don’t talk about self-esteem issues (i.e. John was a 41-year old virgin and Novak tolk him never to talk about that on a first date).

– Show self-esteem and self-confidence (even if you have to “fake” it).

– Don’t talk about your past dating history on a first date.

– Don’t talk about anything painful in your past on a first date.

– If you’re asked about your dating history, simply say, “you know I’ve dated a lot of girls/guys… I just haven’t met the right one yet” and leave it at that.

Joe’s Comments
What I love about this show is that the advice Patti Novak gives is right on. These are tips everyone should follow. Interestingly enough, in this episode John’s date with a woman didn’t go so well and after some further discussion, Novak presented the idea of him going on a casual date with a guy. He agreed and seemed to have a much better time.

Dating Tips – Confessions of a Matchmaker #1

One of the best shows that singles can watch for great dating tips is A&E’s Confessions of a Matchmaker starring matchmaker Patti Novak. It airs in half-hour segments every week and features Novak’s adventures with clients in Buffalo, New York. Novak is a no-nonsense person who tells it as it is and when clients listen, they find success where none existed before.

As a service to our readers, we will break down the valuable tips that Novak presents in each episode, starting with the first one in this post:

Episode 1 (Charlie & Ashley) – Dating Tips:

– Control what you put into your mouth because what you put into your mouth affects your confidence.

– Don’t tan a lot. It’s bad for your skin and makes people think you’re “covering something up”.

– Your looks will determine the type of person you meet (i.e. women trying to look too sexy can attract all the wrong guys).

– A softer look makes you more approachable.

– When trying to correct a lifestyle issue or habit that is inhibiting your dating, just “trying” to fix it isn’t good enough. You must do it.

– When on a date, don’t talk with your mouth full. It’s gross.

– Getting wasted on a first date usually doesn’t lead to a second date.

– On a first date it is inappropriate to force your territory on someone (i.e. bringing friends and introducing them, etc.).

– Too much makeup can make you look insecure and fake.

Joe’s Comments
One thing you learn from this show is that tips are only good if you follow them. For example, in this episode, Ashley came to Novak for help. Novak told her to stop tanning and wearing so much makeup in order to get that softer look. Ashley agreed, but then ignored the advice and her first date was a disaster, partially because the guy thought she wore too much makeup.

When people seek out advice, it only does them good if they learn to follow that advice.