Why Don’t Girls Respond on Chemistry.com?

(Online Dating News Blog – The Answer Box)

Question: Why don’t girls respond on Chemistry.com when I email them?
There are two fundamental flaws of most online dating services that contribute to this problem. Those flaws are:

1. If you are a member and you send an email to someone, they need to be a member too in order to read the email and respond.

2. Many online dating services don’t clean their databases often, so someone who may not have used the service in years is still listed as available.

Because you don’t know, in most cases, who is a member ro not and whether a person is still active, you could be sending some emails to never-never land and that could account for a good portion of unanswered emails.

Online Dating Magazine research shows that, in general it takes a man 20 emails to various ladies in order to get one response. This 20 to 1 ratio is an average of all dating services, not just Chemistry.com which you mentioned in your question.

Online Dating Magazine also states, however, that it is possible to improve your ratio by following several tips:

1) Personalize your first communication. Carefully read the other person’s profile and when you send your email ask some questions based on their areas of interest.

2) Don’t talk about yourself in your first communication. Keep it about the other person.

3) If services allow you to see when a person last logged on then check that before sending an email. If it has been months or years since the person last logged on then your email isn’t going to change that.  Sending emails to people no longer on services is like putting your email straight into a shredder.

Other studies show that posting a good picture improves your response rate. This doesn’t mean that you scan a photo of a model from a magazine and post it as your own. That type of deceipt will come back to bite you. It means that you post a recent and decent photo of yourself.  Always be honest with your photo and in your profile because when a person meets you, they’ll know immediately if you were lying (or fibbing) and that will affect the quality of your date.

The Answer Box
If you have an online dating question you’d like to see answered here, send it to The Answer Box –  answerbox@onlinedatingnewsblog.com.

Related Articles:

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.


  1. Yahoo Personals always shows when the particular members were last online, in days, weeks, or months, as well as showing if they are actually currently signed onto the site. Not sure about others as I haven’t spent so much time on them personally.

  2. I know its really frustrating when you don’t receive reply from others. As you rightly said, the feature of “last login” helps the members to know if a particular member is active or not. If the member isn’t active we could simply ignore him/ her and save our valuable time.

  3. I have emailed quite a few people on different services and not got a response back. It can be irritating. You don’t know if they just never log on or if they aren’t interested in you.

  4. I agree that most dating services need to get with the program and display how long ago the person was last online. I’m not sure how this could have been overlooked as an issue by so many dating sites.

  5. Dating sites don’t overlook the last logon feature, they probably just don’t want to build that in because then you would see that 90% of the people you want to email haven’t logged on in weeks, months or years, and that would mean you run out of legitimate new people who might respond very quickly and cancel your membership when you realize you are on the losing end of the equation since the few people that actually are genuine, at least if they are a girl, can be so picky most guys never gt a look in simply because she ahs so many emails from all the other guys desperately trying to find somebody who will respond. the whole cut n paste first email issue really has come about because guys get into the mind frame that 90% of profiles either won’t respond or are inactive and therefore they have to send so many emails to get a reply that composing each one carefully would take more time than there is in the day if they want to be on the winning side of the numbers game!

Speak Your Mind