Patti (with an i – not Patty) Novak is a matchmaker in Buffalo, New York. Her work is widely seen on A & E Confessions of a Matchmaker. In episode 12 of Confessions of a Matchmaker, Patti Novak works with Sean B. and Tonya. Sean B has trouble talking with girls because he is extremely shy. Tonya’s problem is that she is addicted to adult videos. Here are some dating tips that can be gained from this Episode
Episode 12 (Sean B. and Tonya) – Dating Tips:
- If you’re shy, you have to get over it and break through the barrier. Don’t think about it – do it. Otherwise you’ll be a fifth wheel (to your friends and their partners) forever.
- Lose your bad addictions, otherwise they’ll become a crutch to your dating life.
- If you have trouble with conversations on a date (because you are shy), memorize a list of topics before the date and practice asking questions. Good conversation topics include: music, family, career, favorite things to do. Do not ask about politics or religion!
- Alluding to sex and sex topics on a date is inappropriate.
In this episode, Sean B. kind of reminded me of myself when I was in high school – very shy. You become so fearful of rejection and what other people might think that it interferes with your ability to interact with the opposite sex. In high school, I was so frustrated with my shyness that I decided to do something about it. The first step was forcing myself to simply say “hi” to people when I passed them at school. I used to go out of my way to avoid passing some people because of my shyness.
The second thing I did was force myself to do public speaking. The first time was extremely hard and somewhat embarrassing (a story for another time), but by forcing myself to do public speaking, I quickly overcame my shyness. A secondary benefit was that in college I went on to represent the United States at a world speech competition in Sweden! Once I broke out of my shell and grabbed that confidence, there was no turning back. Life became a whole lot better.
While online dating is the best way for people to meet their potential soulmate, it is Godsend for shy people. I think that’s why Sean B. initially went to Patti – because he avoided having to ask someone out by having her match him. The same is true with online dating. Many shy people can shed the “shyness” when in the comfort of their home with a computer screen between them and the person they are communicating with.